One of our kids got rejected from their dream college!! Receiving a rejection letter from a student’s preferred college or university can be disheartening. However, there may be many factors in a school's decision to accept or deny an applicant that actually has very little…
Does my kid need to go to college? In my work with families and young adults on their career plans, the question often comes up: “Do I really need to go to college?” As someone who holds four university degrees and one technical college degree,…
It's very common for our kids who are close to graduation to start hearing the question, “So, what are you going to do next?” The query usually strikes fear into the hearts of many high school and college graduates because many have absolutely…
As the school year starts, we know that our children will face numerous challenges. School can be particularly difficult for children who have suffered from traumatic events, and the structure and social interactions there can be just another source of chronic stress. It is tempting to try to help our kids by laying out a blueprint that we know will make life easier for them, such as…
The new school year is looming for our kids, and we need to help them get ready for it. School usually is a place of failure and stress for children who have suffered a traumatic event. Whether the trauma is from a car accident, a natural disaster, or something as targeted as sexual abuse, young people with trauma usually struggle with school. Fortunately, there are some things we can do to help them find success that will build their self-esteem and resilience as they navigate this school year…
“I can’t and I don’t have to,” my foster daughter announced. “I have a diagnosis, so I don’t have to do all of my homework if I don’t want to. I’m no good at school, and that’s just the way it is. Your nagging isn’t going to change anything…
In my last post, I discussed some important techniques that we can use at home to help our kids find more success in school. In this post, I’ll discuss three more important principles for helping our kids who show symptoms of anxiety or excessive worry about either school or life in general. As with all parts of…
While we are working with the school to help our kids adjust, we can’t forget the rest of the time that our children spend with us. After all, while they spend a lot of time in school, they spend more time at home. That fact raises the question of what we can do to help our kids succeed in school. Some of our kids will…
In my last post, I talked about the importance of explaining trauma to our kids’ teachers and school administrators. Knowing what accommodation to ask for can be an essential part of a trauma-sensitive classroom. Here are some practical ideas for creative accommodations for kids who are dealing with the impact of…
I have heard this pattern countless times from foster parents and stepparents. It’s become almost a foregone conclusion that kids who have suffered childhood trauma will also struggle in school. When I first started working in foster care back in the day, the professionals and I had no idea how these responses…
As we head into the back-to-school season, we need to remember that for many of our kids, particularly foster children, school is a place of failure and added trauma. Not all of our kids are suited for academics, and we may not be helping them by forcing them into that mold. For older kids who struggle with school…
One of the most important things we can do for our children is get them involved in groups outside school. Doing this is not easy, especially when it loads extra chauffeur and chaperone duties onto our already-long lists. If we can manage it, however, the benefits…