A new study shines a spotlight on something Plan B parents deal with every day: how unpredictable environments in childhood can have lasting effects on our kids. There are some good pointers in the results about how those of us who have inherited kids with…
Today is Wrong Way Corrigan Day, and it has a lot of great lessons for those of us Plan B parents trying to weave love, patience, and resilience into our families’ stories. Douglas Corrigan, a 1930s pilot, became famous for flying from New York to…
Anyone who spends enough time looking at the effects of trauma on child development easily could conclude that our children are doomed. Current research in child welfare connects trauma to everything from obesity to significant increases in anxiety and depression. Fortunately, there is a growing…
An excellent article from Nature magazine explores the research showing that children benefit from risky play. Mental health professionals are discovering that children allowed to stretch their limits in uncertain and adventurous play benefit both physically and emotionally. Those opportunities allow them to develop coordination and spatial awareness, but also confidence and resilience. A study from Norway that spearheaded the field found that adolescents who spent less time in positive thrill-seeking — such as outdoor adventure — were more likely to take negative risks such as shoplifting. A more recent study from Britain found that during the COVID-19 lockdown, children who spent more time in risky play had fewer mental health problems…
I’ve mentioned before that I’m a sucker for made-up holidays, and this week is no different. Tomorrow is National Tell a Fairy Tale Day, and it prompted me to start thinking about what fairy tales can tell us about foster and blended families. I’ve written before about what fairy tales can tell us about being the mentor rather than the villain in our kids’ stories. Today I want to look at some of the other lessons that fairy tales can teach us about raising other people’s children…
Being a foster parent or stepparent comes with unique challenges, but it also offers profound opportunities. One of the most critical lessons in this journey is understanding how to set priorities to create a solid foundation for your family. Over the next few weeks, I’ll post about why I think certain priorities come before others. Today, I want to give an overview and explain why I believe children should be last, instead of first in the order of family priorities…
A study of Dutch school children indicates that participation in team sports correlates with increased executive function in children. The study followed 880 Dutch children from 2006 through 2017. The researchers used meters to measure physical activity in children at ages 5 to 6 and questionnaires to assess sports participation in children ages 10 to 11. The study then had parents complete a questionnaire that measures executive function. “Executive function” is a phrase that encompasses thinking skills that children need to organize facts, remember details, make decisions, and stay focused.
Heading past the holiday season into the new year is a good time for parents to strengthen an essential skill for caring for our blended and foster families, specifically taking care of ourselves. Self-care sounds like the opposite of self-sacrifice, but it’s actually an important foundation for that trait. Here are five important reasons to use self-care as an important tool in our parenting skill set this year…
I’ve been traveling out of the country, so I’m republishing one of my more popular blogs in honor of National Bullying Month. I’ll be back later this week with fresh content. Another problem that we can face with traumatized children is that they can become the bully in a given situation. Children who have…
I have been traveling out of the country, so I am republishing one of my more popular blog posts in honor of National Bullying Month. October is National Bullying Prevention month, so we will hear a lot about the topic over the next few weeks. If we parent children who have suffered trauma, our children are at high risk of being bullied. Their trauma…
I have been traveling out of the country, so this week I’m re-publishing one of my more popular blog posts in honor of National Bullying Month: Bullying is an ongoing problem for many of our kids, and with the focus of October as National Bullying Prevention Month, we’ll see a lot of suggestions about how to prevent bullying. Contrary to what many parents (and children) think, not every insult or disagreement is a bullying situation. Sometimes…
I am a sucker for off-beat holidays, and yesterday was National Make Your Bed Day. It reminded me of Admiral McRaven’s 2014 commencement speech advising UT Austin graduates how to change the world. His first piece of advice was…