The first time I tried a real vacation with a foster child, I planned it the way I would have planned any family trip. I researched the destination, planned the transportation, and made sure we had entertainment and snacks. What I had not planned for…
One of the things I learned slowly, too slowly, during my years as a foster parent was that I could not protect children into resilience. I tried. I arranged things so that failure was unlikely, intervened before frustration peaked, smoothed over conflicts that probably needed…
Building resilience in children from hard places is one of the things foster parents discuss most often when I attend conferences. It always comes up as a specific question: how, exactly, do you build it? And what does it look like when you are standing…
Spring announces itself with urgency. Trees leaf out. Lawns turn green overnight. The natural world signals renewal so loudly that the culture adopts the season as a metaphor for resilience—spring cleaning, fresh starts, new beginnings. For Plan B parents—foster, adoptive, and stepparents—this seasonal optimism can…
Every April 15, Major League Baseball pauses to honor Jackie Robinson. Every player, coach, and umpire wears number 42. The ceremony commemorates the day in 1947 when Robinson walked onto Ebbets Field and broke baseball’s color line—a moment of extraordinary courage that changed American sports…
A landmark 12-year longitudinal study reframes what your organization can do—and why it matters. Many staff members and leaders in youth-serving organizations carry a quiet tension. They engage with the ACE research, they understand the cumulative weight of adverse childhood experiences on the children and…
If you are a Plan B parent, you have probably had a version of this moment: you are watching your child struggle—with trust, with relationships, with behavior that seems to come out of nowhere—and a quiet fear settles in. What if the things that happened…
As a full circle foster child, foster care worker and foster/adoptive parent, the life I have had has not been a walk-in-the-park. I lived many days as a child scrounging for food and facing shame in foster homes of other broken caregivers and youth. For…
We seem to be shifting into a new type of society that’s facing our kids. Often our anxieties and fears will hide our views of what opportunities still sit firmly in our hands. We are easily influenced when what we once thought was in our…
I am thankful I failed. So often we hear of failure as if it is a bad thing! It’s not! Not giving life a “good fight” with the chance of failure, now that can lead to a purposeless life. Giving up won’t get you anywhere. But, stepping…
I am a sucker for off-beat holidays, and today is National Make Your Bed Day. It’s a good reminder that one of the best ways that either Plan B parents or youth-serving organizations can encourage resilience in our kids is to help them master small…
As Plan B parents—foster, adoptive, and stepparents—we're often navigating the choppy waters of helping our kids heal from past disruptions while building a stable future. It's easy to feel like we're playing catch-up, especially when it comes to modern…