As Plan B parents—foster, adoptive, and stepparents—we're often navigating the choppy waters of helping our kids heal from past disruptions while building a stable future. It's easy to feel like we're playing catch-up, especially when it comes to modern…
The first Friday in September is Lazy Mom’s Day, the perfect day for Plan B parents to think about some self-care — or as I prefer to call it, self-stewardship. We know all too well the endless demands of parenting children who didn't start their…
As the school year starts, one of the most important skills we Plan B parents can develop is how to advocate for our kids with the educational system. Childhood trauma—whether from abuse, neglect, family separation, or other hardships—can disrupt concentration, memory, and…
A new study shines a spotlight on something Plan B parents deal with every day: how unpredictable environments in childhood can have lasting effects on our kids. There are some good pointers in the results about how those of us who have inherited kids with…
As a Plan B parent, you know firsthand how profoundly trauma can affect your child’s emotions, behaviors, and sense of safety. With the school year starting soon, or already started in some areas, we may soon be dealing with school issues…
How to help our kids transition to adulthood has been on my mind lately, as we are currently helping a young adult who has aged out of foster care. Maybe I’m just getting old, but it seems to be a more difficult…
Last week, I discussed how Plan B parents can lower the risk of false allegations. This week, let’s discuss how you can respond if you actually are tagged with a false allegation. Allegations are rare, but they’re part of the…
A recent article about a Reddit thread offers an important case study for single foster parents. A father posted about his discovering that his ex-wife had allowed their 8-year-old daughter to stay alone overnight with the ex-wife’s boyfriend. The response to his question about whether…
One situation that I’m hearing more frequently is foster, adoptive, and stepparents facing false allegations of abuse. It’s a lurking nightmare for every Plan B parent, and sometimes it becomes a reality. These claims, even when untrue, can shake your…
Today is Wrong Way Corrigan Day, and it has a lot of great lessons for those of us Plan B parents trying to weave love, patience, and resilience into our families’ stories. Douglas Corrigan, a 1930s pilot, became famous for flying from New York to…
Today is World Youth Skills Day, and a good time to consider the value of Career and Technical Education (CTE) for our kids. Children who have suffered trauma often face failure and more trauma in traditional classrooms. Not every kid is wired for academics, and…
Anyone who spends enough time looking at the effects of trauma on child development easily could conclude that our children are doomed. Current research in child welfare connects trauma to everything from obesity to significant increases in anxiety and depression. Fortunately, there is a growing…