None of us planned the path that led us into foster care, adoption, or a blended family. Many people call it a wrong turn. I call it Plan B parenting. There is an old aviation nickname that captures this better than any parenting book I…
Research on overparenting is giving youth administrators a useful tool: peer-reviewed evidence that age-appropriate independence is not a supervision gap. It is good program design. Understanding that research, and its limits, can help you push back on parent pressure, defend your supervision policies, and build…
Somewhere in the stack of training materials, agency handouts, therapist recommendations, and well-meaning advice you’ve collected as a foster parent, adoptive parent, or stepparent, there is research. Some of it has shaped how you think about your child. Some of it has shaped what you’ve…
An interesting working paper published recently argues that children suffer far more ill effects from their parents’ divorce than we previously thought. Working papers are not final and not yet peer-reviewed, but are published for discussion and comment. Thus, it’s too early to fully rely…
An excellent article from Nature magazine explores the research showing that children benefit from risky play. Mental health professionals are discovering that children allowed to stretch their limits in uncertain and adventurous play benefit both physically and emotionally. Those opportunities allow them to develop coordination and spatial awareness, but also confidence and resilience. A study from Norway that spearheaded the field found that adolescents who spent less time in positive thrill-seeking — such as outdoor adventure — were more likely to take negative risks such as shoplifting. A more recent study from Britain found that during the COVID-19 lockdown, children who spent more time in risky play had fewer mental health problems…
A study of Dutch school children indicates that participation in team sports correlates with increased executive function in children. The study followed 880 Dutch children from 2006 through 2017. The researchers used meters to measure physical activity in children at ages 5 to 6 and questionnaires to assess sports participation in children ages 10 to 11. The study then had parents complete a questionnaire that measures executive function. “Executive function” is a phrase that encompasses thinking skills that children need to organize facts, remember details, make decisions, and stay focused.
One of the most important things we can do when parenting children who suffered trauma is find a good therapist for them. As part of that task, we need to find a good fit between our child, the therapist, and the type of therapy. A new study gives us some new data to consider in finding that fit…
A recently-published neuroscience study indicates that our brains interpret current events by accessing memories of prior happenings. Previous research had shown the replay effect in spatial navigation, but this study indicates that replay also underlies our ability to make sense of narratives…
In my last post, I discussed why we need to let our kids emotionally bounce off us. In this post, I discuss how to do that. Here are some important principles that I have learned for dealing with kids in the moment…
One essential and hard-to learn skill is knowing how to respond when our kids are angry, unhappy, having a meltdown, or simply reject us. Children who have suffered trauma are particularly liable to react in all of these ways. The best thing we can do as parents of those children is…
The Journal of Pediatrics recently published an article arguing persuasively that a major cause of the current epidemic in childhood anxiety and depression is that we supervise our children too much. With the best of intentions, the authors argue, we are depriving our children of important opportunities to become self-confident and independent…
I know from experience that of the biggest challenges in parenting is knowing how to help a child who suffers from depression. The recent CDC report about our teen mental health crisis shows that more and more us are facing that challenge. Young people who…