One unfortunate part of being a foster parent is knowing how to protect yourself against false or unfair allegations. When you sign up for foster care, you sign up for increased scrutiny from your state’s child protective services. Foster children are more likely than biological children to make accusations, out of either…
In my last post, I talked about entering foster parenting with realistic attitudes. In this post, I want to talk about how to actually start. Agencies will offer training, but you need real life experience. I recommend getting that experience a little bit at a time. Parenting other people’s children is a skill, and just like any other…
With the emphasis this month on foster care, we will hear a lot of appeals for people to become foster parents. The pull to provide a family to children who need one is strong, but parenting traumatized children can be difficult and messy. Even experienced foster parents sometimes find themselves wondering what they…
Earlier this week, we celebrated Valentine’s Day, and the holiday prompted memories of my service as a single foster parent. I wouldn’t trade the experience, but I can’t deny that it posed its own unique set of challenges. Some of you may find yourselves forced by circumstance to be a single parent, while others may be…
Every so often, I think back to when I started service as a foster parent and how little I know about what I was getting into. I certainly don’t regret being a foster parent, and the fact that I know more now is a good sign that I am capable of learning. For newer foster…
Many foster parents are able to eventually adopt their foster children. It’s a wonderful way to add to your family, and it’s an important step toward stability for a child. But as wonderful as adoption can be, it’s not a magic wand that resolves all of a child’s trauma. If…
When I speak or appear on podcasts, one common question I hear is, “How do I decide if I want to become a foster parent?” It’s an understandable and very good question. The pull to provide a family to children who need one is strong, but parenting traumatized…
Gifted children pose a unique challenge for foster parents. By definition, they have suffered the trauma of losing their biological family, and that trauma may have led to other emotional or developmental problems. Add giftedness to that mix, and we have to…
This week before Father’s Day is a good time to look at the importance of stepfathers and foster fathers in families. If our children have biological fathers involved in their lives, we need to do what we can to encourage that relationship…
In continued honor of National Siblings Day, I want to talk for a bit about one of the biggest losses that our foster children face, which is losing track of their siblings. It is hard to find statistics, but I have seen estimates that anywhere from one-half to two-thirds of…
“My mom doesn’t make me do that!” We’ve all heard it. Our child’s biological parent has different rules, and our child likes those rules better than ours. It is very easy to get into a battle of wills or to criticize their parents’ rules. Those…
It’s Tolkien Reading Day, set for today because in The Lord of the Rings, the heroes managed to overthrow the villain on March 25. In allowing his characters to triumph, however, Tolkien underscores another continuing theme in his books…