We’ve discussed before how the community can help foster families. This time of year, there is an even greater need for community support. Foster parents have the same holiday to-do lists as every other family. In addition, they have to find time to help their…
One never-ending controversy during this most difficult time of year is whether and how to help our foster children and stepchildren buy presents for their biological parents. As a single foster mother, I never questioned that I needed to help my children strengthen…
As we navigate through these holidays dedicated to family ties, let’s remember that many of our kids may have a different family — a biological family — that they are tied to emotionally. If you and your spouse have custody of your stepchildren, those children will have strong ties to their non-custodial parent. Your…
In the midst of celebrating National Adoption Month, we need to also remember the heartbreaking journeys that brought our kids to this point. It is good to celebrate new beginnings, but we shouldn’t forget that our kids are available for adoption only because they…
In my last post, I discussed seven ways to lower your family’s holiday stress this year. In this second part of the series, I’m including some more great ways I’ve heard about to avoid conflict and stress. There really are no “best ways” to navigate the holidays; each family has its own unique source of stress. These…
Somehow, all of the normal stresses of raising other people’s kids seem to combine and hit us all at once during the holidays. Whatever disagreements we have with biological parents pop up worse than ever, and our foster and bonus kids have a hard time navigating all of the family tensions. Whether it’s school…
We’re headed into one of the most stressful times of the year for blended and foster families. Winter holidays can be a constant reminder for our kids that their world is off-kilter and different from what they want it to be. There’s nothing we can do to change our kids’ perception of the holidays, but we can take steps to
Our children steadily are becoming more anxious and depressed. Even before the pandemic, anxiety disorders and depression increased by 27% and 24% respectively among children. By 2020, 9.2% of kids studied had been diagnosed with anxiety problems and 4% had been diagnosed with depression. During the…
Resilience is one of the most important skills we can teach our kids, as well as one of the hardest ones to instill. One big hurdle is the narrative that our kids tell themselves about their lives. We want them to believe that they can accomplish anything. They often see themselves through the prism of whatever…
Bullying is an ongoing problem for many of our kids, and with the focus of October as National Bullying Prevention Month, we’ll see a lot of suggestions about how to prevent bullying. Contrary to what many parents (and children) think, not every insult or disagreement is a bullying situation. Sometimes a dispute…
Parenting is unique in that, if we do it right in the long run, we work ourselves out of a job. Our most important responsibility is to teach our kids how to develop into adults who don’t need us. Yet, in today’s protective culture, it can be hard to teach our foster or stepchildren the essential trait of self reliance. It’s a…
One common question I hear is whether people who work full time can be foster parents. The short answer is emphatically “yes.” You don’t even need flexible schedules or part-time work in order to foster full time. Those accommodations can be helpful, but they aren’t essential. I have spent my entire foster…