Holding Hope and Finding Resilience
As a full circle foster child, foster care worker and foster/adoptive parent, the life I have had has not been a walk-in-the-park. I lived many days as a child scrounging for food and facing shame in foster homes of other broken caregivers and youth. For many years, I almost believed my worth in life was little. Hope and resilience were completely outside my experience.
That was until I realized as a young adult that the key to creating the change I wanted to see in foster care came first from working to change myself. At the age of 22, I experienced medical surgery due to long-term child abuse that could have ended my life. It was then that I realized how to take control of both my medical and trauma healing process instead of just waiting on anyone else to do so.
After extensive medical services, rehabilitation, and lots of time, I completed college and pursued my process of personal healing. I discovered more hope in myself and the world than I had ever imagined was possible. The ability of holding hope in face of challenging times and experiences, became my focus and ultimately, my message to share with others. Resilience is possible with a strong foundation of hope. I came to believe that even though life is tough, hope that holds us is stronger!
As a starting point, let me say I am a true believer of internal strength within all of us—no matter where we are or where we have come from! Particularly, I see significant strength of resilience in those of you who may have just start realizing warning signs in your relationships or merely came to identify characteristics of “Romeo pimping” relationships. Remember, you are strong enough for whatever steps may lie ahead.
Here are five thoughts to consider when you are contemplating your relationship.
- Healthy Relationships do exist, even if you may not have experienced them yet. Yes, they entail conflict and challenges but NEVER do they require one partner to do something he/she does not want to do. Never.
- You are never a burden. Ask advice. Ask for help. That’s why we exist—to help each other. There are advocates for you ANYTIME and ANYWHERE.
- No matter your story, you matter! There is no story, no situation, no experience that will keep you from having value and worth as a person. Talk to an advocate or someone safe and they can help you discover that value of your own.
- You are capable of great things. Think about what you love and love doing. Music? Helping people? Working with kids? Writing? Art? Organization? Whatever it is that you enjoy, it is needed, and you are capable of it!
- There is hope. Hope doesn’t mean things are easy or that they will immediately resolve. Instead, hope means there is a belief that it can and will get better. It is a perspective that equips you with the internal strength you deserve. Seek it. Find it. Hold hope!
