Help! College Rejected Our Kid!

One of our kids got rejected from their dream college!!

Receiving a rejection letter from a student’s preferred college or university can be disheartening. However, there may be many factors in a school's decision to accept or deny an applicant that actually has very little to do with a particular kid. For instance, while quotas are not generally discussed in educational circles, they still exist in some form or fashion. Colleges and universities cannot accept everyone, so they have students write essays and send information on their curricular activities in an effort to find students who will best fit their school’s mission and overall community. 

Factors Beyond Our Control

Some schools seek students with the highest levels of academic performance, while other schools are looking for students who can help build excellence in the sports and athletic areas. Admissions personnel are tasked with finding the applicants who will best fit their university’s academic goals or other areas of the school’s community.

Admissions decisions can be perplexing. For example, a salutatorian with top-notch academics, the highest SAT scores, and outstanding performance in collegiate sports was rejected from her top choice school. From my perspective, I could see no reason why she had not been accepted.

I decided to call the university's admissions office, because I was concerned that my school might not be doing the right things or might not be providing the best services and should be making changes. What I found out was that this young lady had actually ranked very high and was near the top of the list for admission to this particular school. However, this school had received grant money to increase the number of first-generation college students enrolled in their school during this year. Both of her parents had received college degrees, so that kicked her out of that particular group of students.  

While I know that this does not seem fair, it is simply the reality of college admissions. There are many students who are applying to particular schools, and those schools have to make choices. We obviously might not agree with those choices, but it is important to keep in mind that being rejected from the university of choice does not make a young person a bad student or unworthy of getting into college. 

Finding Another Way

It can also be a lesson for our kids in finding another way to get where they want to go.  Here are some other choices for our kids to explore:

First of all, never forget that a college or university is essentially a business. They need to fill their classes with students who will not only be successful in graduating but who will be a good fit for the community they want to create. 

In my experience with multiple universities, I have really never found an admissions staff or faculty member who really wanted students to fail. While opinions varied on the effectiveness of their actions in helping students, their intentions were not malicious. A university is a business and must function as a business in order to stay relevant. Therefore, admissions staff are tasked with finding students who fit with the university's overall goal, but also recognize those who will be successful and continue to be able to pay tuition. That sounds rather heartless in some ways, but again, if the university is not careful with who they let in, they will no longer have the funds to be a thriving university. 

So I say all of this to let you know that if a young person is rejected from one university, there is always another university where he or she might find a better fit.

We must recognize the deep emotion and sense of prestige tied to gaining admission to a top university of our choice. Consequently, rejection can lead to an overwhelming sense of failure and loss. However, to be perfectly honest, where a student begins a college career is less important than where he or she ends it. 

I’m not minimizing the importance of wanting to attend a parent’s university, start undergraduate years with high school friends, or simply go to a university that has an emotional pull. However, we should always remind our kids that there are other ways to reach their goals in post-secondary education. 

I spent a large part of my career working with students applying to a popular large state university. The university’s appeal was massive, driven by a great football team and strong support from parents and alumni. Conversely, the applicant pool was huge, typically seeing about 50,000 applications for 6,000 available slots. Clearly, gaining acceptance into this school was very difficult. 

In meeting after meeting with the university’s admissions personnel, we learned that it was significantly easier to be accepted as a sophomore than as a freshman. Essentially, the simplest route to gain admission was to attend another school for a semester first, and then transfer into that school with some successful college credit already in place.

This transfer strategy exists because a large portion of students fail their freshman year, creating space for students with credit to enter as sophomores. I recall working with one young man for whom the initial rejection was a devastating blow, as his entire family had graduated from that university. He persevered, enrolling in a satellite school for a year.  When he reapplied the next year, he was accepted, and all the credit he had completed transferred with him. He entered the university at the same status he would have been had he been accepted initially. There are many, many ways to make the academic process work for a student’s career goals.

I advise against getting too creative when transferring from one school to another. I’ve seen students transfer multiple times, thinking it would speed up their goals, but they typically lose credit or have to repeat courses when moving between schools. Since each institution has its own requirements, colleges and universities may or may not accept some of the credits a student tries to transfer in. If this happens too often, students end up losing money in the process. It’s smart to sit down with the admission staff at each university your student plans to transfer to and work with them to develop a plan that maximizes the credit the students retain. 

It’s also important to make sure you’re following good and reputable advice when helping your student create his or her college and career plan. For example, one group of students decided to get into their desired college by choosing the most unpopular majors, reasoning that fewer applicants would mean guaranteed openings for them. This plan backfired when the school dissolved many of the classes for that major due to insufficient enrollment. I was able to help those students enroll in a smaller university, which allowed them to earn college credit and core classes for a semester before most transferred to a better-fitting university. Just be careful; sometimes the most outlandish plans really do NOT work and just cost money. 

When it comes to career and education, remember there is no one perfect plan, and students need to be flexible, ask for advice, and be willing to alter their plans as needed to best meet their optimum goals.